Somebody lock me up and throw away the key

I am having a glorious pregnancy. I am! No morning sickness, plenty of energy, glowing etc and most times I am confident
and feeling F-I-N-E...well except for the few moments of paranoia I get. It usually starts with me reading about someone else's problems on the internet when I should be working. This week, was the "Incompetent Cervix".

Geez I got so paranoid I think I gave myself symptoms. Then I tricked my doctor into seeing me at the last minute. They gave me a quick scan, and of course my cervix is plenty competent. Maybe they need to do a scan of my brain instead.

I love boys, I love girls

For a long time, I felt I would have a boy as a first child. Even back in the day when I didn't even have boy dogs or boy cats, or a boyfriend, I always pictured myself as a mother of a boy. I think it is because I grew up a tomboy and love adventures and the outdoors. As a little girl, my favorite article of clothing was a stained Tiger's head Wild Animal Park BLUE t-shirt. I loved Vans, Nikes and Converse high-tops. It wasn't until I was in High School that I discovered "the Dress".

Currently I live w/ 4 dudes. Man, 2 dogs, cat. Its a real sausage festival at my house. That doesn't include the fact that I work with 95% guys at my work. I didn't plan it that way, that's just how it ended up. Then there are all the boys of my boy.

The luvman is a guy's guy. He has a ton of guy friends and they love to talk about sports and rap music. He has absolutely no feminine interests or sensitivity at all, though he can cook a mean steak dinner for us.

Having a boy would be pretty easy, I'm just used to dealing with the male species. However...recently, I've been thinking about having a little girl. Not to play dress up or anything, but I picture her perhaps being a scientist or someone strong and great, command the next spaceship, (yet also can play the piano and know how to germinate exotic flowers like mama)

The thing about being an American is that women can do anything. In the 'old country' everyone wants a boy because only a boy can take care of you when you are old and gray. Hell, I intend to take care of myself and be a sassy buff granny but I digress... I guess when it comes down to it, I'd like to have boys and girls. But with my luck, I'll probably end up w/ all boys.

I just want to punch you in the face

When I was single and childless, they all tell me to hurry up and have a kid, how great it is, and tell me how pathetic my life would be without children. The minute they know that I am having a baby, they start telling me how terrible pregnancy is, how hard it is to have kids, and how I'll be giving up on all the fun things in life. WTF?

Lately, there are certainly people who made me want to punch their face in. From the friend who insists I'll be getting morning sickness soon (um, I'm in my 5th month dear) to the dad who won't shut up about how life will change and I'll never get to have fun again, to the person who assumes I'm an idiot by giving me hullo? obvious advice about taking prenatals, eating right, sleeping, breathing and you know, stuff that make me say Duh really??

Then there are those who think my belly isn't big enough, too big, or give me scary tales about birth and parenting or tell me just how fat I WILL get....you know what? I've decided to shut my ears internally (and tell them to suck it) I am not going to subscribe to this fear tactic! First of all, they are NOT ME! and believe me, I sure as hell am definitely not them.

Linea Whata?

Supposedly, I will be getting a line that runs down my belly soon, and I've been sorta obsessed about it. The idea that some bizarre line down my middle is well to say the least, bizarre. The Linea Negra they call it. Sounds very scientific and sorta wacky.
Its harmless & caused by increased harmone producing more melanin. Old wives tales say if the line starts from under the boobs all the way to the top of the pubic bone, then its a boy. If it starts at the navel to the pubic area, then a girl. I think I see a faint line, I wonder how dark it would be since I'm pretty pale. I've seen pictures of other peoples Linea and it just trips me out to know that there is some mark out there that shows up out of nowhere separating their left and right side. Yeah I know, off all the things to trip out on you are wondering why this!?

So when do I give up the camouflage and combat boots?

A large part of my wardrobe is dedicated to not-so-mommy-like items such as punk shirts with skull graphics, ripped jeans, belly baring tops, wife-beaters, flip-flops, combat boots and oh, lots of camo. Since I don't have a dresscode at work, I've never bought sensible coordinates and wore pretty much the standard hippy-artist-rebel-unsuitable for a 35 year old-outfits. Now that my waistline is finally expanding, I've not only had to order preggo belly rings (www.painfulpleasures.com), but I'm now entering the territory of maternity wear. (yuck) So far, I haven't given in and still wearing my old clothes with an added elastic for my unbuttoned jeans, and soon my new thing will be to search out clothes for preggos that don't cramp my style. Hey I got a rep to protect.

Dial B for Baby

So why was I so cheery and chipper at my doctor appointment? (no its not all due to the glucose high) My normal self is too be nervous and fatalistic at these things. Why was I giggling? Well, its cuz I already knew things were fine the night before... me and my baby chatted via Doppler!

I said I wasn't gonna get a fetal Doppler in case I become obsessive compulsive about it....what the heck! I got one! I ordered it from www.bellybeats.com for only $25 a month. Its so cool. So far, I promise to check up on the luvbaby only once a week. Well I JUST got it so I've used it 4 times in the last week. OK I'll slow down, I will! I just wanted to show my brother and sister; then of course me and luvman heard it together, well then I had this dream they couldn't find the heartbeat so I had to re-assure myself. No, I'm not obsessed. Really.

Hello, your baby is a lemon

I've been subscribing to various baby/preggo sites and lo and behold got my 15 week reminder from www.americanbaby.

They are trying to tell me my baby is now 4 inches long and looks like a lemon. Nuh-uh, I checked. I got a freebie ultrasound from good o'l Dr. Bliss (she may be my delivering doc) and the baby has a head, a belly, toes and fingers and bounces around happily. Was so cute!

I thought I was getting a glucose tolerance test and actually drank this sweet drink that tasted like flat Orange Crush, so I was high on sugar and bouncing around like the baby. Turns out, I'm not supposed to get this test until 6 months or unless I'm 300 lbs so I drank it all for nothing, but the high was well worth it.

15 weeks and sick of talking about it!

Hi, I know I know, I'm not being a good blogger about posting updates! Between the last post and this one, we have told a few more people. His parents, his boss, my best friend, my other best friend, my cousin and my work associate. But I felt like I was saying the same ol' story over and over again so I was all out of words to post. I needed to regain my umph so to speak so I can be my usual self, whatever that is.

His parents are p-r-e-t-t-y excited. His mom is beyond help, shes gone nuts! The first day we told she must have called five times to tell us that she is excited. My other best friend's eyes welled up with tears, my best friend Renee made an excited face and my cousins mouth turned into an O. The luvman's boss gave him an awkward hug and my work associate seemed very surprised. So still not everyone knows, but it is kinda fun shocking/surprising people. I know, we are cruel. It'd be easier just to send out a mass email, but I love to see the look on each person's face and have them tell me they just thought i got fat.